Care. ♥

A day filled with a strange mixture of tears, sorrow and smiles. This post will be longer than usual, I will write about a couple of important things that happened today.

The day started off with that I checked my facebook to see how my dearest friend Shabnams mom (dear M) was doing. Shabs wonderful mother was going to have a surgery and I was sending all my positive thoughts to her and her family ... it had been a couple of days. Then I get this awful AWFUL HORRIBLE message that Shabs mother has now passed away.

Just imagine. This woman was amazing, and she will forever be loved.

At first I was in shock, then I thought about Shab and her family and I started crying. I tried to remain calm because some of my favorite relatives were going to visit us. My cousin, his wife and their 4 year old daughter. Their daughter reminded me of being simple - honest - curious. Those charactaristics that make you want to appreciate life and living.

Since me and my mom are going to Iran soon, my mom wanted go into town and find gifts and clothes for our visit in Iran. I didnt want to go first because I felt so doown .... I still didnt want and couldnt accept that dear M had passed away... But I took a grip on myself and thought I can go out with my mom and at least get some fresh air. I had bought many things and I had lots of shoppingbags in my hand. Then I passed this very very old and skinny man - selling the magazine for homeless people in Gothenburg. I felt so ashamed about myself, thinking:
- Look at me, here I am - with everything I need and want in my life - and look at him sitting there so calm in the middle of town where probably thousands of people pass. I didnt have any cash in my hand so I decided that heck! I got to do something about this, how dare we people be so d'mn selfish and only think about ourselves! Finally I found some place to take out money and went back to the old man. I told him I wanted a magazine and handed him the money and he gave me the magazine. I thanked him and wished him a good day. YOU SHOULD HAVE SEEN HIS FACE! He smiled! and His smile was GENUIN! He made my whole day. 

Next I met this lovely teacher I had in 5th grade. It had been at least 5 years since I had seen her but I finally got the chance to tell her the positve effect she had on me and that she is one of those teachers that one never forgets. It felt really relieving to finally said that to her and her face was just glowing. I think she was happy to know.

What Ive learnt and what Im trying to do all the time is  to really use everyday as best as I can, and show people that I exist and that I care. You never know... one day you're here, and the next you might be gone. Talking about this is not enough, one needs to act.

Shabnam, you are really strong - you have helped me so much in life without even noticing many times too! (By the way, I bought the book you told me about!). My dad, mother, sister and everyone Ive talked about your greatness with are so proud of and impressed by you. 
I love you with all my heart and all of my thoughts and feelings go to You and your family. May dear M rest in peace.

Blood red roses.

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